Dear Company That Claims to Want to Hire Me,

My name is Country Mouse, blogger, mother, and semiprofessional skeptic.

Titling your email regarding a job “(not MLM)” (which is to say, “not multi-level marketing”) does nothing to enhance my confidence in the legitimacy of your company. Neither does starting your message with “Your resume was found in our database” and ending it with “Also please attach your resume for our review.”

Your failure to accurately proofread your letter to me, coupled with your thoroughly generic job description and promises of “high wages” and “no degree required,” hammers the nails in your coffin.

I research every company that contacts me regarding employment, so that I may be knowledgable in my communications with them. I don’t have to do any research to know that I will not be submitting more information about myself to you. You see, I dislike having my identity stolen.

Thank you for not wasting my time in the future.

Signed,

Country Mouse

Update:  In the spirit of research, I entered the purported name of the company in a Google search.  “Your search did not match any documents.”  Big surprise.

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